The THINGS I’M AFRAID TO TELL YOU Post.

May 9, 2012

I’ve caught the bug. I’ve caught the blog bug. It’s an epidemic and I can’t help but get on board. I’ve been debating with myself about whether or not I should post this. It all started with Jess Constable and this post and there has been a wildfire across the interwebs ever since. Many of you who read this know me on a personal level and there are many of you that do not. I’m not sure how this post will be received, but I’m hoping that after it’s finished, and after you read it, you’ll know me a bit better. Here goes:

  • I’m extremely sarcastic. Anytime I am uneasy, sad, or nervous , I use my words as a shield.
  • I have a hard time saying “no”. I stretch myself way too thin because I have an incessant need to please.
  • I’m a workaholic. I have no life because of the previous bullet point.
  • I’m extremely competitive. Good because I’m driven. Bad because nobody likes to play games with me.
  • I’m a worrier. I read too much into things and this causes me to create insane stories in my head and freak out over how something may potentially play out.
  • I absolutely love my family. I would do anything for them. Even my dog. We don’t say, “I love you” a lot, but we show it. My family is incredibly close and this can make it difficult for others to join. My husband was so awesome and patient with me as I struggled to find the best way to share him with everyone.
  • I’m prideful. There. I said it. I’m usually the last one to apologize. I’m working on it.
  • I feel like a huge failure. A lot. I continually set goals for myself and continually fall short of them. Most of these goals are crazy and practically unattainable right now, but I can’t help myself.
  • I wanted to start this blog 3 years ago and I never did anything. I kick myself on a daily basis because I feel like things would be so different right now. I love, love, LOVE writing this, but I feel that because I’m so busy with my two other jobs, I don’t have the time or creativity I would like to fully throw myself into this wonderful project. I started out wanting to post one tutorial every week, but haven’t had the availability to create beautiful projects. I feel like I’ve sacrificed quality for quantity at times. I may scale back, but I’m not totally sure about that move.
  • I loved Pinterest and other inspiration sites in the beginning, but now I have been staying away. I haven’t pinned as much because it can be an inspiration overload. I am constantly finding new blogs and projects that are better than mine better than the last. Everything looks perfect through the eyes of my computer screen. It, at times, makes me feel very small and VERY unimportant. Erin of Design For Mankind explains this very well in her post. I still love Pinterest though and think it’s an amazing idea.
  • I am dying to be a mother. Logan and I have to wait a bit longer and it kills me to be around moms and their cute cute babies. I know that motherhood will be in my future, but every day that it doesn’t happen is hard.
  • I want to go to a taping of The Martha Stewart show and am hoping that dream will come true some day.
  • I believe that anyone can change their circumstances if they try hard enough. When Logan was laid off from his job three years ago, it hit us hard. We were newly married and just starting out. While it’s been a struggle, I honestly wouldn’t change what happened. We’ve become so close and really learned to rely on each other and nobody else. I’m a planner and my plan was thrown out the window. We’re more behind than most, but we really appreciate the value of a dollar and I know that this experience will help us to value our successes in the future.
  • I’m constantly trying to better myself. This blog has pushed me to better my photography and design skills and is pushing me to go outside of my comfort zone. I’m scared, but excited. I know that there is always someone out there who will do it different and maybe better, but all I want to make sure is that I’m proud of everything I share here.

This blog has been a HUGE outlet for me. Most of the posts I write are short and sweet. But this one feels so good to write! Wow! There’s more I could write but I will leave you with the few bits I have. I hope you don’t judge and I hope that you have gained a little insight into what goes on behind these cyber pages. If there is something you want to get off your chest, I urge you to do so. There is so much pretty around the internet and we need to remind ourselves that reality is better than any dream. I didn’t want to get too deep here, but I wanted to mention a few things that I’ve carried with me for awhile.  You all help me more than you know. The internet can be a wonderful thing. It’s a great way to connect and make new friends that, although you might never actually meet, make you feel like you’ve known them a lifetime. I have made some great friends in the short amount of time that I’ve been doing this and I couldn’t feel more blessed. Amazing opportunities are coming my way and I know it’s from your support. Thank you for coming here each day and reading what I have to say. You’re wonderful and I love ya! Now I promise I won’t be mushy for AT LEAST another week. ;)

Love,

Lex

 

36 thoughts on “The THINGS I’M AFRAID TO TELL YOU Post.

  1. Joy

    You’re awesome. This is awesome. I look at your list and I see myself in so many of the things you wrote. And let’s go see Martha together, you can stay at my house. ; )

    Reply
  2. jess naylor

    lexi. all i have to say is, i love you. you are an amazing person and i am privileged to know you. and i love your blog. your goin places:)

    Reply
  3. erika

    lexi, great post. thank you for sharing (i know how hard it was for me to publish my post). i definitely feel like you wrote about the things i feel the EXACT same way about (especially inspiration overboard and wishing that i had started my blog long ago!).

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Thanks, Erika! It felt good to write. It was really hard to start, but once I did… I couldn’t stop! It’s hard that we’re late to the game, but we’re doin’ alright. :) Thanks for inspiring me to do this!

      Reply
  4. Ari

    You are my inspiration! I could never have my own crafty blog! I love everything you do on here! You are one amazing girl Lexy Jo! Miss you lots! I always have SO much fun with you! We do after all have the same brain. How about you move back here so I can have a friend! Haha

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      R-dog, I just love and miss you! I had a blast seeing you and it really helped me loosen up! You’re so fun and we are definitely brain-twins. You’re wonderful!

      Reply
  5. Haley Wilson

    I love this post Lexy. After every bullet point I thought to myself “Oh my gosh, this is me!”. I love how honest you are. We may see those things as faults at times, but remember, they can be helpful too. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Thanks, Hay! I was really nervous to write this post and after I published it, I had a pit in my stomach! I was really scared to see how other’s would respond. I’m surprised by how many people feel the same way I do! Thanks for encouraging me. :) I love you!

      Reply
  6. Chris Loves Julia

    I think every blogger needs to publish a post like this every once in awhile. It obviously helps the blogger, but surprisingly the readers too. We are all behind you, Lexy. We are all rooting for you.

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      You’re so sweet. This was tough to write, but now that it’s open for everyone to see, I feel one billion times better. Thanks for being so supportive. You’re my favorite. :)

      Reply
  7. Melanie

    There are so many of your confessions that I can relate to and tell you I’ve felt the same way at times. I know what it’s like to long to be a mother and while it’s not easy at the time, I will tell you when it does happen for you you’ll think the timing is perfect and won’t be able to imagine it any other way or at any other time. It will work out.

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Thanks, Mel. It’s nice to hear from someone who has been through it all before. I know that I have to be patient, but it gets tough! All I can do is just wait for it to happen and know that it will be perfect eventually. :)

      Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      You’re the baller! Thanks for being such a great friend! I think it’s time for minute to win it!

      Reply
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  9. amy c

    oh lexy! i relate to so many of your thoughts and feelings about timing, failing, progression. so similar. thank you for sharing. thanks for being so brave.
    you are amazing. :)

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Thanks, Amy! I think a lot of blogger can relate. We only choose to display the good stuff, but it’s nice to be real and remind ourselves that not everyone is perfect. :)

      Reply
  10. Meagan Briggs

    Oh Lex. I just love you. I have been so far from the blog world in the past week! I am sad I missed when you posted it. I think your blog is fantastic. I love seeing your creativity. I wish I had the energy to actually TRY some of these….but I know I will someday. You inspire me girlfriend.

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Thanks, Meags. You’re the one who inspires me! You do so much and are such a great mother. You’re definitely someone I’ve always admired. :) I’m also happy to have you back in the blogging world. But I understand. The beach is amazing!

      Reply
  11. Kristina

    lovely post – and I know what you mean about setting ridiculous goals and the inspiration overload. everything looks just better on other websites… and yours looks pretty amazing!!

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Oh wow, girl, you are too sweet! It’s tough having so much inspiration around us, but it’s great to see the honesty movement being received so well. It’s so refreshing!

      Reply
  12. shara

    I have read a few posts in the ‘movement’ over the past couple of weeks and I applaud you for writing and posting this. You were able to put into words something in particular I have been feeling for a while but have been unable to articulate. I thank you!
    Cheers,
    Shara

    paperpetalbash.wordpress.com

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Thanks, Shara! It definitely helps to get everything off your chest. You should join in! When you do, I’ll be there ready to listen and support! :)

      Reply
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  18. sue

    just came across your blog tonight & i love it… this post really resonated with me & i’m sure a lot of people feel the same on many of the points you listed! well done for putting it out there.. i must make a note to visit here more often… happy blogging! sue

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Hi Sue!

      Thank you for your sweet comment! Hopefully this honesty will continue to spread around the web and inspire others to do the same! Glad you found me! Hope you’ll stick around! xo, Lexy

      Reply
  19. Jeran

    Amazing post! We might be twins separated at birth. I so identify with so many of the things you wrote. I’m glad you started this blog. I have so much fun reading your posts and following your instagram.

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      Oh, thanks so much, Jeran! It’s so nice to hear support from others. It’s easy to get bogged down by everything! Can’t wait to meet you! :)

      Reply

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