The THINGS I’M AFRAID TO TELL YOU Post.
I’ve caught the bug. I’ve caught the blog bug. It’s an epidemic and I can’t help but get on board. I’ve been debating with myself about whether or not I should post this. It all started with Jess Constable and this post and there has been a wildfire across the interwebs ever since. Many of you who read this know me on a personal level and there are many of you that do not. I’m not sure how this post will be received, but I’m hoping that after it’s finished, and after you read it, you’ll know me a bit better. Here goes:
- I’m extremely sarcastic. Anytime I am uneasy, sad, or nervous , I use my words as a shield.
- I have a hard time saying “no”. I stretch myself way too thin because I have an incessant need to please.
- I’m a workaholic. I have no life because of the previous bullet point.
- I’m extremely competitive. Good because I’m driven. Bad because nobody likes to play games with me.
- I’m a worrier. I read too much into things and this causes me to create insane stories in my head and freak out over how something may potentially play out.
- I absolutely love my family. I would do anything for them. Even my dog. We don’t say, “I love you” a lot, but we show it. My family is incredibly close and this can make it difficult for others to join. My husband was so awesome and patient with me as I struggled to find the best way to share him with everyone.
- I’m prideful. There. I said it. I’m usually the last one to apologize. I’m working on it.
- I feel like a huge failure. A lot. I continually set goals for myself and continually fall short of them. Most of these goals are crazy and practically unattainable right now, but I can’t help myself.
- I wanted to start this blog 3 years ago and I never did anything. I kick myself on a daily basis because I feel like things would be so different right now. I love, love, LOVE writing this, but I feel that because I’m so busy with my two other jobs, I don’t have the time or creativity I would like to fully throw myself into this wonderful project. I started out wanting to post one tutorial every week, but haven’t had the availability to create beautiful projects. I feel like I’ve sacrificed quality for quantity at times. I may scale back, but I’m not totally sure about that move.
- I loved Pinterest and other inspiration sites in the beginning, but now I have been staying away. I haven’t pinned as much because it can be an inspiration overload. I am constantly finding new blogs and projects that are
better than minebetter than the last. Everything looks perfect through the eyes of my computer screen. It, at times, makes me feel very small and VERY unimportant. Erin of Design For Mankind explains this very well in her post. I still love Pinterest though and think it’s an amazing idea.
- I am dying to be a mother. Logan and I have to wait a bit longer and it kills me to be around moms and their cute cute babies. I know that motherhood will be in my future, but every day that it doesn’t happen is hard.
- I want to go to a taping of The Martha Stewart show and am hoping that dream will come true some day.
- I believe that anyone can change their circumstances if they try hard enough. When Logan was laid off from his job three years ago, it hit us hard. We were newly married and just starting out. While it’s been a struggle, I honestly wouldn’t change what happened. We’ve become so close and really learned to rely on each other and nobody else. I’m a planner and my plan was thrown out the window. We’re more behind than most, but we really appreciate the value of a dollar and I know that this experience will help us to value our successes in the future.
- I’m constantly trying to better myself. This blog has pushed me to better my photography and design skills and is pushing me to go outside of my comfort zone. I’m scared, but excited. I know that there is always someone out there who will do it different and maybe better, but all I want to make sure is that I’m proud of everything I share here.
This blog has been a HUGE outlet for me. Most of the posts I write are short and sweet. But this one feels so good to write! Wow! There’s more I could write but I will leave you with the few bits I have. I hope you don’t judge and I hope that you have gained a little insight into what goes on behind these cyber pages. If there is something you want to get off your chest, I urge you to do so. There is so much pretty around the internet and we need to remind ourselves that reality is better than any dream. I didn’t want to get too deep here, but I wanted to mention a few things that I’ve carried with me for awhile. You all help me more than you know. The internet can be a wonderful thing. It’s a great way to connect and make new friends that, although you might never actually meet, make you feel like you’ve known them a lifetime. I have made some great friends in the short amount of time that I’ve been doing this and I couldn’t feel more blessed. Amazing opportunities are coming my way and I know it’s from your support. Thank you for coming here each day and reading what I have to say. You’re wonderful and I love ya! Now I promise I won’t be mushy for AT LEAST another week. ;)