Thoughts On Pregnancy & How It’s Affected My Brain

June 18, 2013

Pregnant Lexy

I know that since becoming pregnant, it may seem like I have fallen off the face of the internet. And I basically have. Aside from being so incredibly sick (actually puking, everyday), I have been ridiculously tired! A zombie even! Nobody really told me about that. It’s been so tricky trying to find a balance between work, baby, getting settled into our new place, and trying to be a good wife to Logan. I’ve pretty much failed on all fronts. It’s taken me weeks to figure out a system and I’m finally starting to feel like myself. Just now! I’m almost 6 months in and am just starting to bounce back!! What the?!?

I feel like I’ve experienced a major paradigm shift in the last few weeks. I have wanted to be pregnant for years. It was all consuming and because it didn’t happen, I buried myself in work. I was literally working 90 hours a week and trying to focus on my career and the growth of this blog. And then BAM! We got pregnant! Like some miracle out of left field, it just came so unexpectedly and I was forced to quickly adjust to my new life. Instead of a desk, I was in bed or in the bathroom! (Mostly in bed.) Things were definitely quiet around here and people didn’t know why. I was too tired to get anything done, and I wasn’t ready to tell anyone what was happening until I was sure it was pretty solid. These things can be taken away as quickly as they come, ya know?

Every one of you has been so supportive and sweet since finding out the news and have made me realize why I created this blog in the first place. I love coming to this lil’ internet space to connect and make friends. Sure, I want to create projects and content that you will appreciate and be inspired to make on your own. I want this to be a beautiful space! But, I also want this to be a real space. I’ve stepped back a bit because I’ve been focusing more on little girl and less on what I say and do here. I realized that I don’t have to do that! I want to be able to have discussions about all sorts of topics. I want to hear your thoughts. I most definitely need to hear your advice. I’ll still be sharing DIYs and other types of posts, but I’m also going to kick things up a notch and start talking about my life and what’s going on behind the scenes. Old friend or new friend, I hope you’ll stick around! I need ya!

I’m currently 24 weeks along with BG-dub (our affectionate nickname for Baby Girl Ward), and it’s been a crazy six months. If you have talked to me in person, I apologize for the flightiness. I just can’t help myself these days! Up until now, I’ve been ridiculously sick. Before she was kicking, it was the only reassurance I had that she was still in there packin’ on the pounds. Isn’t that crazy? Were you or do you know someone who thought that way? I absolutely hated the puking, but I was comforted after each time it happened. For the last two weeks, she has been a crazy kicker and it’s amazing to watch and feel. I try to get work done during the day, but each time she kicks, I sit down for 20 minutes and poke back to provoke her and play with her! Oh my. The first time it happened, I knew this was all worth it. Make me puke all you want, baby. I’ll take it.

I’m truly sorry for being so slow to come back here, but I’m ready to work. I’m ready to play. Thank you so much for being amazing and supportive and cool and understanding. I could just marry you guys if I wasn’t already hitched. ;)

14 thoughts on “Thoughts On Pregnancy & How It’s Affected My Brain

  1. Sarah Ann Noel

    I can SO absolutely relate to this. I do not do pregnancy well. I was a *little* better the second time around, but not much. With Iris? I was a disaster. I’m not kidding, Lexy. I couldn’t remember anything, I was sick and so unbelievably tired, and on top of everything else, I just was feeling like a major failure. I kept yelling at myself, “Snap out of it! You need to EXPERIENCE this.” But you know, that was the best prep for motherhood for me. It was a time when I could finally realize, it can’t all be perfect all the time and sometimes you have those days where you just have to put Nemo on again and crash. Those days are okay and necessary.

    I say, soak it up. Lounge and indulge and treat yourself. You are doing an incredible thing right now. You are GROWING A HUMAN. Life. Be extra kind to yourself and relax, not because soon you won’t get to (but, okay, that can be kind of true); but because you are DESERVING of that. And. Read Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy if you haven’t yet.

    Let me know when you’re up for a Denver Biscuit Co. breakfast. ;)

    Reply
    1. Katie Meyers

      Sarah Ann- Haha, I can only imagine how many ‘Nemo rerun days’ I’ll have so I really appreciate another piece of candid advice & reminder to not beat ourselves up too much. ;) Thanks!

      Reply
    2. Lexy Post author

      Sarah! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! It’s been really tricky trying to build up my self-esteem while being pregnant. I honestly felt so lazy and I’m used to being a doer! We moved into a new place a few months ago and I have been soooo sluggish to furnish it and unpack all of the boxes. I know that I’m supposed to take it easy, but I can’t help but feel like I’m a total slacker! I wish I could just hire a decorator. :)

      Thanks for giving me that little pep talk. I am definitely going to try and lounge a little more (before I become a slave to this baby!). Also – I’m going to get that book and then we are going to get us some biscuits! :)

      Reply
  2. Melissa // The Fauxmartha

    I never got sick, which I kept telling myself it was a good thing. But for half my pregnancy I didn’t believe she was really in there until the kicks came. Always a little unnerving. Now she lets me know every other minute she’s in there. I think I’m growing a crazy lady! So, so glad you’re starting to feel better! I wish I could give you some of these weird spurts of energy I have. I swear, I’m an alien. This is not normal. Next year, if we move to Denver (fingers crossed), I know a little girl that would love to hang with your little girl :)

    Reply
    1. Lexy Post author

      So many friends of mine have told me they were a little nervous because they weren’t that sick. I’m totally jealous of those people, but I know I would have been a basket case had it not been for the constant puking. I would have a good day and be freaking out that something happened to baby girl. Now, she kicks ALL the time and I know she’s there. I’m really hoping you guys move here next year! Our girls can be best friends and so can we! ;)

      Reply
  3. Katie Meyers

    Lexy – I SO feel ya! Reading this post gave me a chuckle as we’re in the exact same boat! We’d had our ups & downs of trying & then – surprise, it happened. Ever since I made this announcement: http://meyersstyles.com/big-news/ I’ve also been trying to figure out the right balance re: work, blog, & um, pleasantries of early pregnancy. ;) I too stepped back from the blogging world, but missed it immensely so am thrilled to be back, but each day I still try to strike the ‘right balance’. I hope you’re feeling 100x better & that you continue to enjoy each moment before she arrives. You’ll definitely figure out what’s right for you… And let’s be honest, once she’s here, it’ll change all over again, but for the best. ;)

    Reply
  4. Mandie

    Oh goodness, I can relate. I’m 15 weeks and haven’t puked in a week, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t headaches and nausea still. And yes- a love/hate relationship with puking. I hate doing it, but am comforted knowing that means baby is likely doing better than me. :)

    I’m so ready to feel our little one move that I almost think I can, but at this point, I’m likely imagining it. :/

    Yay for babies!

    Reply
  5. Kelly Smith

    I am definitely on board with this. I wish I was as crafty as you. I am excited to hear more about you and learn what it takes to be the proper pinwheel from behind the scenes. Oh, and I am glad you are feeling better.

    Reply
  6. Christine

    Don’t you even apologize! Somethings are more important, like poking that little baby of yours, though I’m sure you could do without the puking. I never experienced the puking myself, but I was nauseous and TIRED beyond belief. Like a whole new kind of tired. It’s unbelievable, isn’t it?

    Enjoy all the time you can to relax and experience the good/bads of growing a little human. The internet will be here when you get back :)

    Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better, take care!!

    Reply
  7. Lindsee Jo

    We are so in the same boat! Except my blog is a baby blog. I spent all of my puke-days sitting…okay, laying on a couch writing down my plans, goals, and ideas for my blog and online art shop I am hoping to open after baby comes (the ONLY thing that would distract me from sickness)–all while my three year old twins did whatever they pleased, my house got destroyed, and my husband felt little or no support. Alas, we made it through and the second trimester gave me the energy to get it together and start my blog (the anticipation was killing me!). And now, at 29 wks, we are back to the struggle! Welcome third trimester! Instead of puking it’s aches, pains, emotional wreckage, and fatigue. Joy!! Haha!

    I will so be sticking around and routing you on, new friend! So glad I found your blog! Happy for you new mama!

    Reply
  8. Pingback: The House: A Look At One Of The Only Rooms That Is Coming Together : The Proper Pinwheel

  9. Jenn V

    I could have written this blog post myself!! I am currently 27 weeks and I was puking until 25 weeks. Only now I’m better because I take Zofram every day. Talk about exhausted. Oh, and my pelvis has separated so it hurts to walk. So many lovely pregnancy symptoms!! Still so happy to feel my baby girl kicking. Really brightens my day and makes me fall in love with her even though she’s making me so miserable. Its always good to learn that I’m not the only one! That not everyone is a magical pregnancy unicorn. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  10. Ali

    Lexy! Girl, I haven’t gotten to the child-bearing part of my life yet, but I can relate to the life-taking-over-your-online-presence sentiment in other ways. I think you’re doing a great job of balancing everything and truly can’t wait to see the appearance of little BG-Dub on the blog when she gets here! And I 100% support your idea of sharing more personal stuff. I think you’ll find that there are a lot of us out there who go through the same things, and it will make these online friendships even deeper. :)

    Thanks for being here, and for the pretty/inspiring/real space you’ve created. I always love coming to your blog!

    Xo, Ali

    PS – Got your package today and definitely squealed a little! Thanks so much!

    Reply

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