Behind The Blog \\ Dealing With Diabetes

June 19, 2014

Here we go. It’s text-heavy. We’ve got sugary photos because I need to look at them while I type these words.

donut

Hey. Could that post title be any more dramatic? I don’t think that it could. I’ve been struggling to write this post for a while now. It’s not an excuse as to why things have been so quiet here. Actually. Who am I kidding? It’s totally my excuse. ;)

People have been wondering if my instagram account has been hijacked. And I can’t blame them. Who the flip is posting all this healthy stuff?!? It’s totally not like me. My account is usually plastered with sugar & sweets & Diet Coke, so I totally get it. Things have been crazy and I’ve had to drastically change my diet over the last two weeks. Hence the healthy snacks.

Christmas Treat, Holiday Recipe, Toffee, Chocolate, The Proper Pinwheel, Delicious toffee, easy toffee

To give y’all the basic rundown, I’ve been diagnosed with LADA. It’s a form of Type 1 Diabetes where I am now insulin dependent. The difference is that Type 1 usually manifests in children and teens, and not so much in peeps in their late twenties like myself. About a month ago, I noticed that my vision power (that’s a thing) was decreasing severely. It was gradual and, by the end, I couldn’t make out Vita-roo’s face if she was more than ten feet away. And you know how cute her face is, so this was tough to take. I visited my eye doc who suggested I visit my regular doc who suggested we test my blood sugar. So it was tested. And it was through the roof. More tests. And then we realized that I had almost every other diabetic symptom.

Lemon 5

“I did this to myself! I know it!”

“All the donuts and carbs and treats have caught up with me in the worst way.”

“I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye to some of my favorite cookies and donuts!” (Lookin’ at you, Keebler.)

(I really did say that. And I really did cry about it. Hi, I’m five years old.)

Those and about a million others were the thoughts racing through my mind. I cried and I cried and, quite honestly, my ego power (also a thing) took a huge plunge. As someone who was secretly thrilled by the fact that she ate junk food regularly, this was my worst nightmare. The life of Shelby from Steel Magnolias immediately played in my mind. Be glad you weren’t there for that. This all happened around National Donut Day, mind you. I mean, talk about a kick in the pants.

Cupcakes 1

Fast-forward to today. After lots of blood work and other tests, I’m on the mend. It’s treatable. It’s a life-changer, yes, but I’m dealing. I begin and end the day with needles. I used to do it with Diet Coke & a candy bar, so I’m honestly surprised it’s not Type 2. I’m not grateful to have it at all, but I’m grateful to know that my poor habits aren’t what caused it. When the official Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis came, I made sure to emphasize to everyone we told that it wasn’t Type 2. That I didn’t cause it. That it started near the end of my pregnancy. I felt like I needed people to know that because, hello, I’ve been known for my sugary habits. Irony. It’s there, alright.

For about 48 hours, I wrestled with what to do with this here blog. I was afraid I should just shut it down. I’ve been so tired (worse than pregnancy, you guys!) and just kept thinking about all the treats I could no longer post! And then I realized that I need this blog. I need to write my thoughts here. And if you guys are there to support me, that’s super. If not, that’s totally fine. But I feel like we’ve got a good relationship, you and I. And I feel like I can share this with you. It’s not always bright, colorful, styled photos around here. It’s sometimes messy. Like right now. This is a HUGE change for me. HUGE. I’m still wrapping my brain around it. And I could sure use your help.

Typography Macarons

Going forward, things might be a little different. I’ve obviously had to tweak my personal habits, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop posting about all the sugary goodness that I like to make for you guys. Most of the time in the past, I’d just give away what I made. I’d like to say that I could eat donut after cake after donut, but I’m maxxing out at around 4 post-Vita. You’ll still get a healthy dose of DIY and delish, delectable treats, but you’ll also be seeing/reading a little more about the healthy lifestyle change I’m making. Mmmkay?

I don’t think I can do this alone.

I know I can’t do this alone.

I’m not sharing this information here to get you to feel sorry for me. I’m sharing it because I share a lot of my life here. And my life is changing.

Color-blocked Old Fashioned Donuts

To the folks that already know this, I thank you for your sweet, sweet, emails and messages. It really is amazing to be on the receiving end of such love.

To end this on a happier note, I feel like I should shout this next part at the top of my lungs. I CAN STILL HAVE DIET COKE! You don’t know what that means to me. I know that soda isn’t the best thing for a person, but if I had to give that up cold turkey, well, then, you’d have to have me committed.

Okay. Phew. That was a lot. Hope your eyes aren’t burning from all these words! Thanks for reading this. And thanks for being there.

Virtually hugging the crap out of you,

Lexy

photography: all photos by The Proper Pinwheel (dive into the archives, baby!)

27 thoughts on “Behind The Blog \\ Dealing With Diabetes

  1. Katie

    I feel for you girl. My husband has had type I since age 5 and there are so many misconceptions about it. You didn’t cause it yourself, your pancreas just doesn’t function like everyone else’s.

    I was recently diagnosed with a disease that has changed my life too. We just need to live life and remember all of the the blessings we have.

    Keep your head up! xo

    Reply
  2. alicia

    Thinking of you Lexi! You’re brave and wonderful and I wish you all of the best PLUS cases of Diet Coke. I’m drinking a DC for breakfast as I type this :) Wishing you and Vita all the health and happiness.

    Reply
  3. Haley Wilson

    I’m sorry you have to go through this Lex. It may be life changing but at least there is a lot of good food out there that is healthy (and that’s coming from me who lives on sugar and carbs too). You can do it Lex!

    Give Vita some loves from me!

    Reply
  4. Kait

    Lexi! So sorry you have to go through all of this, love. That is really hard and I know anyone in your situation, myself included, would feel exactly the same. As someone who is Celiac and gluten-free and doesn’t get to eat many donuts and cakes due to unavailability, I can tell you there are so many other delicious things to indulge in! I hope you are feeling better soon! <3 you!

    Reply
  5. Wendy Stanger

    Love you Lexy! I know you can do it! There are lots of good delicious foods out there that won’t sky-rocket your sugars. I know you will find them! You are such a good writer/blogger/mommy/sister-in-law!!! Hang in there!!
    Wendy

    Reply
  6. Jacquelyn | lark & linen

    Oh Lexy, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through all this! I can’t imagine how scary it must feel. I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and rooting you on from the sidelines! And if it’s any consolation, I have NO issue whatsoever with recipes for healthy, delicious treats. In fact, I encourage it! XOXOX

    Reply
  7. Julia @ Chris Loves Julia

    Lexy! No! You poor thing. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I’m with a lot of the other commenters–I come here or a lot more than the sweet treats. For YOU! You are so talented in so many other things. And we, we have to have healthy treats for parties due to my own health restrictions. I’m mourning your loss, because I KNOW it is hard, but I am anxious to see what’s next from you. Only good things. Only good things.

    Reply
  8. Jenny

    Dang girl – this is a big deal. For what it’s worth, I think it’s perfectly normal to grieve the loss of something that has brought you joy for so long. I’m glad you’re not shutting down your blog, though! I appreciate the real talk and look forward to the fun, creative ways you’ll find to blog through it. You got this. :)

    Reply
  9. tiffany han

    Oh Lexy, honey! THANK GOD FOR DIET COKE!!

    I cannot even imagine how hard this has been for you, but man, you are handling it with such beauty and grace. Which is pretty much how you handle everything, so no surprise there.

    I’m thinking of you and sending you so many good thoughts. We all are!!! I don’t know what I can do to help besides UNICORNVIBES! but if you ever want to talk about kale or quinoa or other hippie shit, you let me know!! MWAH! YOU ARE AWESOME.

    Reply
  10. jessica naylor

    Hi Lexy. Haven’t talked to you in awhile but I think about you lots and am always catching up with you through your blog. Miss you lady. You gave me my morning cry and I think your awesome. That’s all.

    Reply
  11. Elaine Ellis

    Oh man! Lexy. As a fellow sugar enthusiast myself, I would have cried too. I saw that you were looking for quinoa recipes lately. If you’re looking for healthy cookbooks, I really like Super Fresh Everyday and Ottolenghi. Great healthy recipes to pair with Diet Coke.

    Reply
  12. brittney

    Hey – I’m really sorry. I don’t want to be a me-monster, but I did want you to know that two weeks ago I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (which is even a smaller deal than type I), and I cried real hard. I’m just saying, you’re doing a great job of being brave even though it’s not awesome.

    Reply
  13. Caitlin

    hang in there! It will be a big change, but feeling good will make up for the lack of dessert. I post about desserts too, but mainly read about healthy living, so I’ll still be reading whatever it is you decide to post :)

    Reply
  14. Laura

    Thank you for being brave enough to share this with us! My dad was diagnosed with Type 1 when he was 28, so I have an idea what you must be feeling like. It’s a big life change, but I know you will eventually find a way to feel like yourself again! It can be a struggle to have people understand the difference between Type 1 & 2, so it’s great you are using you blog to raise awareness. (And don’t worry – diabetes doesn’t mean you can never have dessert again; my dad regularly enjoys his sweets, just with a bit of extra planning and insulin :)

    Reply
  15. Kelly Smith

    I am with you friend. Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do for you. I had GD with Parker, and so I know a little about the heartache of it all. But not really, I knew mine would end. And so my heart aches for you. SO sorry.

    Reply
  16. Melissa

    Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! This is a lot to deal with all at once. I keep saying to myself, gosh, I hope Hallie doesn’t have an allergic reaction to something so we dont have to change our diet. I can’t imagine if it were actually me with a reaction to food. Thinking of you mucho! You’ve got the powah!

    Reply
  17. Rachel S

    I have been Type 1 for 15 years now, and while it is a lifestyle change, I do everything anybody else does (though usually in moderation)! I have an insulin pump (did shots for 10 years though) and it has made my life so much easier. “Is that a cookie? I can have one and give myself a boost of insulin!” Not that I do it often, but I have the option :) Diabetes is not as scary as it used to be, and when I was 10 and got diagnosed I sobbed so hard mostly because I didn’t know what it was. Good luck on your pancreatic journey!

    Reply
  18. Stephanie Stark

    You can do it! Life changes are inevitable, but with the help of family and friends you can get through just about anything. Keep your head up, you are stronger than diabetes! I loved your blog pre-diabetes and I’ll keep loving it post-diabetes!

    Reply
  19. Laurel (@abubblylife)

    I am one of those people who say a million things at once hoping to make a person feel better when I hear news like this and then start making no sense- so I will keep it short and sweet- MAJOR hugs your way.

    Reply
  20. Jess

    I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis! I used to work for an excellent organization JDRF that raised money to cure T1D, I would look into your local chapter, it’s a great organization.

    I’m glad to hear you’ll continue posting here! Best of luck on this new journey.

    Reply
  21. Brianna

    I’m so sorry about your diagnosis, I know this is a huuuuuge shift and can be (frankly) super scary! My mom was diagnosed with diabetes type 1 when she was in her 20s and then had me, so I’ve heard all about what it was like for her working through that. Low-glycemic focused cookbooks are a good place to start and there are a lot of sweetener options out there to try. And I think you’re readers would love to learn more about the world of sugars and sugar subs!

    I know it’s intimidating and depressing to change everything you love so drastically (esp giving up tasty foods), but don’t worry, It’s something that in a year from now will feel a little more ‘normal’. You have a full and long life ahead of you of health, adventure, laughter and love. You can do this!!!!

    PS have you looked into getting a pump?

    Reply
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  23. Teri

    Wow what a big change! I’m sure you can turn it to your advantage even though it’s so hard. For starters you’re gona be super healthy and I for one love seeing good looking healthy treats and recipes online. If it’s healthy on top of being tasty and gorgeous well thats ‘ding, ding, ding’ for me! Go for it!

    Reply
  24. Tan of Squirrelly Minds

    Thinking of you hun <3 I can't imagine how tough this is for you. Anything that makes you drastically change your habits is a shock, especially dietary. Grab yourself that diet coke girl and keep making, creating, sharing, and laughing <3

    Reply
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